Getting Time-lined

Thinking of facebook and getting time-lined. (No, that is nothing dirty or inappropriate, at least to my knowledge. Let's be safe and not google that.)

It is going to happen.

It hasn't happened to me yet, but this latest change to Facebook has run the risk of putting me in that crazy don't-change-anything-I-need-facebook-to-stay-the-same-or-I-will-whine-and-impotently-threaten-mark-zuckerburg-and-maybe-quit-but-realize-I-can't-quit-I-need-facebook-to-survive camp. They are legion.

This always makes me wonder about the dynamics of change, and what in us is so alternatively attracted and simultaneously repulsed by it. I feel both monsters. I did not like the news feed change, but it has grown on me and I can deal. I look at Facebook and actually think an update could be good. But then I am repulsed by the notion that everything is changing...that nothing on the internets will remain the same except change. It is odd both to think that Facebook did not exist when I was growing up, and it will likely be an inside joke between my wife and I as our kids grow. A way of dating us as relics from a time gone by.

I help lead an organization, and this simultaneous need and hatred for change is one of the most helpful and toxic dimensions for a group of people. Some change we need. We need to grow, and growth involves change. Stagnant organizations are dead ones. The organization I am a part of is actually an organism, namely, the church, and she is quite familiar with the risks and dangers of death-by-irrelevance.

We need change, but what change? We need to be challenge out of comfortability, challenged into mission, challenged into relationship. We need to let go of some familiarity in order to reach out and give away our lives. This is healthy, this is the hardest type of change.

But there is easy, grab-onto-what's-now change, the change that has me reaching for Ecclesiastes and wanting to take a nap until whatever this present trend is runs its course and dies. This is running after vapor, trying to grab the cool before it is gone, trying to reach for the latest definition of something and all the while missing the constant, in preference of the fleeting buzz.

The hardest thing for me: these differences in change often intertwine in ways that make it difficult to lead. If you ignore current culture, if you turn over and go back to bed until facebook dies, your relationships will suffer with it...you miss out on fresh ways to connect and grow and move forward. If you flit from trend to trend, you miss out on the people behind them...this is a narrow way after all.

I am after healthy change. I hate destructive change. I don't always know the difference. Bring it Timeline.

It's ok, you don't have to pay, I've got all the change...

So, I wrote this post last fall, the day after I found out Summer was pregnant for the first time. We lost that baby, and it was horrible. It was an awful time for us, but we trust God, and know He loves us and loves the baby we lost...I trust we will meet that child someday as we rejoice with God forever. I looked back and read the post today, months later, as we have another baby growing now inside of Summer that is about 19 weeks old. While the timing is different, and the setting for the post altered, I my feelings remain the same:

My wife, Summer, if pregnant. There. I said it. Clearly, in type, on the internets. (insert nausea and excitement). This will not be published until we feel like we can share this news with people, but Summer thought it would be a good idea for us to blog about this monumental shift in Ammanology. This will be our first child. This child would be the first grandchild to both of our parents. As they say, this kid will indelibly...

indelible |inˈdeləbəl|adjective(of ink or a pen) making marks that cannot be removed.• not able to be forgotten or removed : his story made an indelible impression on me.

(Hopefully a dictionary definition will help convey the gravitas of this day)

...change the course of my story. Of her story. Of the Amman story. The Christensen story. He or she will have their own story, with its own drama, heroes, villains, hopes, dreams, mission, hair, eyes, farts. Of course, the purpose of my postings about this will be mostly personal therapy, and, of course, throwing out your inner observations and dialogue is very cool healthy. A few observations at this very early and premature stage:

Number One: I love Summer. She is going to be a great mom. I could not imagine a better woman to have a child with.

Number Two: I am not ready to be a father. I ran outside tonight in driving 30 mph wind and rain, with sand stinging my legs, but cannot bring myself to get on the treadmill at home. I am poor. And stupid. And way too selfish. (insert prayer and more nausea.)

Number Three: God is very very good. Very kind. Very gracious (I say this still, today, after losing our first child).

Number Four: Pregnant ladies are a force to be reckoned with. Summer has known she is pregnant for about 24 hours and we have talked about who we are telling, when, whether we should know the sex, where the baby should be born, caffeine and every other kind of food's affects upon fetuses (nailed that spelling first time by the way), when to pick names, what color baby girls' clothes should be, cramps, whether or not there is lead paint in our apartment...do I need to go on? She has taken 4 pregnancy tests. Four. She will take another one tomorrow. They are sitting on the nightstand as treasured trophies of maternity. I have heard "You have to ______________ ...I'm pregnant...remember?" at least ten times. This is going to be a lot of fun. Seriously. It is awesome.

Randomness: I just saw a commercial where women are called frugalistas. Is Target stalking Summer? She has a new nickname.

Room for Jesus

I wrote this post about two years ago, and never published it...not sure why, but here it is...think of it as a cool flashback or something. I still think of this every time I pass the sign...passed it about a week ago.

Summer and I went to Bethlehem about a week ago (not the one in the desert, the one in Pennsylvania) and I snapped a picture that really did something to me. It was ugly and beautiful at the same time. It is a sign in Bethlehem, for a local hotel. The sign is red, a little weird...because it says, simply, Hotel Bethlehem.

I got to thinking about the sorry welcome that the human race gave to the most important person to ever grace this planet, the scandal of it, the ghetto nature of the arrival of the Messiah to this weary planet. I got to thinking about the poor welcome Jesus has in my own hardedned and calloused heart.

I have puffed myself up with a lot of garbage, a lot of mechanisms to help me think that I'm ok, that I don't need anything or anyone, that I can make it on my own. I thought about the seediness of me own heart and the pride I muster from a soul that deserves none to keep out the one thing that will give me peace. It is ridiculous and ironic enough to be beyond darkly funny and crossing into sorrowful territory.

I think of the symbolism rich and wrapped up in the form of a frail, human baby coming to save the world, and doing it in a back alley, sleeping among poop and straw and the company of beasts. That inn, that good-for-nothing, full-up-to-the-brim, no-good inn. If it were today in Pennsylvania it would have a gaudy, neon-lit sign beconning weary people with no where else to go to its crowded doors. No room. No room for Jesus.

Isn't that the way it is with me? No room for the one hope I have. No taste for the medicine that would bring healing to my aching bones and weary, tired mind. Stubborn and stupid enough to claim that there is no room for a frail, humble baby to come and change everything.

I think I need Jesus (I know it, in fact, more and more deeply). More than even how much I need Him, I was thinking there better be room for Him here in my mess, or else there's no hope for me.

And that is exactly how he comes. Into a place that doesn't have room, one of the most humiliating ways a child can come and join our ranks. There's war and breaths being held in heaven and hell over this kid. This is the way our hope chooses to begin His quest to save us. And He could have it any other way. But He doesn't. It seems He prefers it this way. May we make room, invite him into every nook and cranny of our wayward souls.

The Greatest Passage in the GTD (Part Cuatro)

Revelation 19

¹¹I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and makes war. ¹²His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. ¹³He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. ¹⁴The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. ¹⁵Out of his mouth comes a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. "He will rule them with an iron scepter." He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. ¹⁶On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written:

KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

GTD Key Themes (Part Tres)

Some key points on the Great Tattoo Debate:

• The Old Testament Law prohibits tattoos that worship idols.
• If you are going to condemn people with “God-honoring tattoos”, you need to keep the whole OT Law. And you don’t, so check yourself before you wreck yourself. Or someone else.
• We are not under law, but under grace.
• Honor God with your body. There are tattoos that honor God and tattoos that do not. If you are getting a tattoo, and love Jesus, get one that honors him.
• We are to love each other, not judge each other. We are not saved by anything we do or don’t do, but saved by the blood of Christ.
• If you think people will go to hell because of their tattoos, regardless of their faith in Christ, you are not a Christian. You are into voodoo. We are saved by grace, and God does not hold our sin against us when we embrace the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

If you are getting a tattoo:

• Think about it for a long time (like a year), pray, and do not even consider something that does not bring glory and honor to God.
• If you live with your parents, and they forbid you to get a tattoo, honor them. God commands it (Ephesians 6 among other places).
• If you get a God honoring tattoo, honor God with it….people will ask you about it…tell your story.
• If you have a tattoo that worships an idol, one that is not honoring God, don’t beat yourself up. You are forgiven by the great love of God. You are saved by grace, not by what you look like.

The GTD (Part Dos)

Now for the ace-in-the-hole-passage. After looking at the context of the OT passages, and at the cultural background for the kids of tattoos God is prohibiting in the law, people tend to realize that there are such things as “God-honoring tattoos”. It is at this point the argument goes straight to the catch-all passage for anything we may do to our bodies.

I Cor 6.19-20

19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Honor God with your body. Clearly symbols, images, pornography, idols…all of these are not God-honoring by nature. Silly tattoos, one with no inherent meaning are still acts of worship to something. You love something by putting it on your body…you have to think something is important or funny enough to mark it on your body for the rest of your life. This is not God-honoring, but self-honoring at best or downright idol worship at worst.

Honor God with your body. Opposed to tattoos honoring idols, worshipping the female body, worshipping our modern idols (music, people, drugs, gambling, politics, etc.), or ones that simply worship humor are explicitly God-honoring tattoos. Scripture. Symbols and language worshipping God, worshipping Jesus for His love and sacrifice. These are ways people honor God with their bodies. God tells his people in the OT to be saturated with His words, and for it to surround them all the time and in every way (Deut. 6) Now, in no way am I saying people should get tattoos, or that the Bible teaches people should get tattoos. I am saying that there are tattoos that honor and worship God, and testify to others that the people who have them have been saved by Christ.

The Great Tattoo Debate, or GTD (Part Uno)

So I wrote some stuff about the Bible and tattoos. This will be in a couple parts, and is not meant to be a complete study, just a few thoughts on the common Scripture used to decry tattoos.

This is the most explicit reference to what we would call tattoos today, and the lightening-rod verse people go to immediately claiming the Scripture prohibits all tattoos:

Leviticus 19.28 " 'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.

This verse is found in a long section of Scripture describing the laws God gave to His people, the Israelites. It is referencing an ancient practice whereby people would worship the dead or false gods by making cuts on their skin, inscribing themselves with markings symbolizing their affinity for these objects of reverence.

Do we see these types of tattoos in our day? Yes, we absolutely do. When someone gets a tattoo honoring a loved one who has died (or is still living for that matter), pictures of a hero or tattoos worshipping things and anything that coud be considered an idol, this is in the same vein (pun-ish) as the types of tattoos that Moses writes of, and God forbids, in Leviticus.

In I Kings 18, the prophets of Baal, a false God that Israel was guilty of worshipping in place of the God of the universe, as they were trying to get their demon-god to act in response to the challenge of Elijah, cut themselves and spilled their blood in an act of devotion and worship to Baal. This has been compared to modern tattoos, which could be a comparison for the types of tattoos mentioned earlier.

To put the Leviticus passage in context a little, and give some perspective, here is the verse directly before the verse about tattoos.

27 " 'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.

Now, many Jesus people assume tattoos are sinful…do we cut our hair? Trim our man–(or woman?) beards? Here is the thing, and Paul totally backs this up in the NT, if you keep some of the law, you are on the hook for the whole thing. You can’t cherry-pick cultural laws and enforce them like they are way way more important than the sentence that comes right before the law you are picking. It is disingenuous, not to mention downright hypocritical.

EVEN IF you somehow feel it is reasonable to argue that the OT passages condemning idol-honoring tattoos apply to God-honoring tattoos, you have to read the whole Scripture. In Romans 6 Paul reminds believers that we are not under law but under grace. While we are still bound by the principles found in the OT because Jesus summed them up in loving God and our neighbor, and now actually set free in Jesus to live healthy, whole lives that are modeled after those principles, we are not bound to uphold the specific hundreds of laws found in the law.

The E-word

Oooooh....another scary post, with a scary word...you know, the words that are hard to hear, that maybe leave a bad taste in your mouth or bring up a scar on the old ticker (heart, that is). This posts' word of doom, as it were, is e-v-a-n-g-e-l-i-s-m. I hesitate to write it, honestly because most people I know bolt to the doors when they hear or think of it. It is scary for Jesus People and Non-Jesus People Alike. I heard a segment today on This American Life, which is growing on me more and more, about how Christian Evangelism, and the old bait-and-switch technique prevalent in everything from the selling of toothpaste to the selling of Jesus. It was very thought provoking, and the segment featured and interview of Jim Henderson (find him at offthemap.com), a Christian with a different approach to evangelism for every person who knows they should not make converts, consumers, or intellectual-assenters, but disciples (we could reflect for weeks on just that last little conglomeration of words there.). I don't know too much about him, but from the interview, and from the content of his website(s), I really appreciated his thoughts and his approach to the scary e-word as well as to the help it can be for me and my friends on this journey with Jesus. Here is the way he ran down the practical steps for making disciples of Jesus.

Notice People

Genius right? At the mall, at work, at school, walking down the street, on our Facespace and Mybook pages, just...notice...people. People are not objects, and when we look at them as objects and treat them as projects, with all of our conversation, effort, and care going towards shoehorning Jesus (insert funny mental image here) into our relationship, we miss people. We don't care. We don't notice. We don't know.

Notice what? Everything...about people. Their style (or swerve), their musak, their language, their mindset, their struggles, their interests. Notice people. We cannot reach out to the people around us without knowing them. It is like a alien trying to communicate to a dog...not sure which one we are, but maybe you get the idea.

Pray for People Behind their Backs

It is amazing how little we pray for the people we claim to care so much about. If you notice someone, you notice they are in need, and you love them, right? So pray for them. Pray big, and small, and everything in between. I think I read that somewhere...hmmmm...

Listen

This is really complicated for self-important religious people. We like to talk. We like to tell. We like to be left alone too. Listen...actively listen. Listen to hopes, dreams, fears, interests, values, beliefs, and to what is going on in the lives of the people around you. Ask questions. Then shut up. Care more about them then about you. Be a GREAT listener. Jesus asked questions, and dialogued constantly with the people around Him.

This was the gist of what Jim shared as evangelism. At this point in the interview, Ira Glass (the interviewer) basically asked, "then what? You just hope something eventually happens?" Essentially Jim Henderson said yes. And I am cool with that kinda. I added a couple more principles, because in the Scripture we are called to show and tell the good news. I am confident that Jim is all 'bout this, and it shows in what He said, I just wanted to add a couple further thoughts in a post on the big e-word, because the opposite of Bullhorn-Street-Preaching-Obnoxious-Jesus-Guy is Wussy-I-May-Share-My-Faith-In-Five-Years-If-The-People-Dying-Around-Me-Beg-Me-To-Jesus-Guy. Unfortunately neither guy acts like Jesus, and because of both Christians have a rep for being hypocritical and irrelevant. Let me go on record as having been both. Sometimes in the same week. On a mission trip. Wearing a Jesus t-shirt.

Do Kindness

As sinners saved by the great love of God, we are transformed into a different kind of person. That person is kind. That person does, with no expectation of return. How many have been influenced by the kindness of God working itself out through people in acts of generosity, giving, service, forgiveness, and love. Pay bills unexpectedly. Shovel the snow. Rake the leaves. Invite for Dinner. Give stuff away. Babysit. Dump love on people. It is the fertilizer for discipleship. Yes I just said love is fertilizer....poetry people...go with it.

Share Your Story, Your Life, With People...

When you notice, love, serve, and give to people, they want to know why. If you are in real relationships with people, and it shows that you care, that you love with the love of Jesus, it will not take five years before someone asks, "What planet did you come from, and how can I get there?" Obviously when people ask, you share, and share why you have the ability to love and serve, namely, and clearly, because Jesus loved and served you and is working in you. If someone has not asked, likely there is something in your walk with God that needs to change. If you have spent the last decade planting seeds, being nice, and listening, it may be time to speak up. The world is dying for a good story, and you have the best one working itself out in you.

Scary Theology

You know them. They are those words that scare us, that are so big and intimidating we can spend a lifetime avoiding them, or glossing over their implications. They tower over us with their complexity, and their propensity to be misunderstood. They are also some of the most important words. The gold ones, the words that blow our worlds apart when we let them in, when we reflect, when we meditate on their meaning and their ability to show us who we are, and who He is.

One of these words in my life is justification. The big, scary J-word. I think the pastors I grew up under did their best to explain it, but in my infancy and because I was focused on what I could do to be right before God, I didn't hear. I have been in classes, listened to sermons, and had mentors who likely sought to input truth into my dome and enlighten me on the riches of this doctrine, but it is not until very recently that this has come alive in my life.

I am realizing how deep this rabbit hole goes. I am made right because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. I need Him like I need bread, air, and the clothes I wear. I am not right because of anything I do or say. I am right, free, saved because of the free love of God in the person and work of Christ. So much of my life I have tried to save myself with religion, tried to muster up goodness. I have embraced forgiveness, and the love of Jesus even while trying to prove inwardly and outwardly I earn it. This is totally...false. God save me from my religion. May I delve into the riches of the scariest theological truth.

I Love the A-Word

It is hard to know where to step sometimes.  We read our Bible. We pray.  We engage with others on the same journey.  Yet often it is a tough thing to know what to say, how to say, when to say, or if to say something.  People need to feel loved, encouraged, supported, served, and empowered to be all that God created them to be, and how do we do those things, and confront also.  Challenge.  You know, the a-word.  Accountability.  Oh yes, it is Encouragement's annoying little brother, crucial to our development as disciples, and essential if we are to love well and do what we need to further the kingdom of God and see Him move in the lives of people.  

Why is accountability is so hard, and so easily vacant in the experience of so many on this journey with God in the context of the church?  Why do we find it so hard to love others enough to hold them accountable to be on mission with God and faithful in their relationships.  Why can accountability seem to devolve so quickly into vile legalism, or judgement, on the one hand, and apathy on the other?

Something clicked in all this for me today, and it is very elusive, so I thought I would try to give it words.  It is the thing I have wrestled with since I could wrestle, and only recently have I made any real progress whatsoever in understanding not only some of the barriers to accountability, but to every facet of my own personal relationship with God.  

It is hard for me to hold others accountable, to love them enough to challenge them, because I myself hate accountability.  That's right.  I hate it.  I hate having someone telling me that something I am doing is harmful, negative, or just plain wrong.  I hate the idea that people may be aware that I am not the most intelligent, helpful, loving, (mostly just plain right) person in the world, or at least that I am better than most.  I want folks to respect me, follow me, like me, and accept me just the way I am.  And do you know what that is?

EVIL...SIN....DESPERATELY WICKED LIVING.

And do you know what?  Jesus died and rose from the dead to free from that sick way of life.  That is not who I am, or what I experienced when I met Jesus.  I heard that there was nothing I could ever do to earn or to lose the neverending love God has for me through His son Jesus.  I learned that the cross freed me from thinking that I am the greatest thing since indoor plumbing, or that I have to be in order to matter.  I learned that it is only through death to myself and to my old, evil, sick way of living that I can really live, breathe...be free from thinking that it is my goodness, right-ness, or deeds that will get me accepted.  I am already accepted, forgiven, turned loose, and given a mission with God.  It is in Jesus that my life is found.  In His resurrection that I have hope.  In His grace and mercy where I can make my home now.  He loves me.  

So...now I can be held accountable, because I am free to be wrong.  My wrong-ness has been paid for, and I want new life in Christ.  I need my friends to help me, to show me my blind spots, to love me enough to be honest with me, to help me make my home in the death and resurrection of Christ.  Accountability is not hurtful, because I want to be rid of the dead things in me and eliminate all the hinders the mission that God has me on.  

When accountability is a swear word, it is because I am clinging to religion.

When I run from honesty, I am cling to an idol.

God please kill the religion that lingers in me.